I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
