Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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