Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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