AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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