Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
its liver damage thursday
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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