So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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