Your tits are I can't wait for
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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