just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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