Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
