You really coming over, don't trick.
from now on my penis is your penis
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
