Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
