My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
