shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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