Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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