I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dignity is for republicans.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we're so committed to being not committed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
