out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
