I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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