I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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