The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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