Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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