i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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