so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
