I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
