if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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