I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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