She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
