i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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