The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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