Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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