ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
tell me about the fingering
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