Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
