Are we in a gay sports bar?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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