You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
