I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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