Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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