And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
