i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
