The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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