Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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