put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
