Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
