Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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