We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
