At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
