i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
