she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
