I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
