I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
