Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
