Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
