She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
